Dear Dogma,
I only use the address “dear” in this letter to represent
that you have taught me about being happy, content, and living at peace. Your lessons have not come from your
intended teachings but have repulsed me to the extent that I shall never return
to you and I am thus, living at peace.
That makes me happy and allows me to address you as “dear”—yes, a dear,
intrusive element in the flow that is my life.
As a preface to this letter, I will take the good from
within you, whatever that may be, but I will spend the rest of my days teaching
others and peacefully opposing your teachings that serve to destroy the human
spirit, deceive, teach hatred and bigotry, and literally bring people to self
hatred, loathing, and even death. I
will oppose your most offensive and destructive purpose-- to teach people, even
the least of these, to believe that God cannot love them unless they subscribe
to you in full. And thus, my
mission is to reverse the damage you have caused within and about me. You are now dead to me, and I now
commit to exposing your evil purpose one step at a time and one person at a
time. As I cast my pebble into
this large sea in which I drift, I will take joy in watching the ripples expand
from my small splash and roll to distant and far removed places.
I’m setting out in this letter to cleanse myself of the
damage you have done in my life. I
will not address the truths I have internalized from your teachings in this
letter. Those were never yours to
begin with—they were the foundation of all Truth since the beginning of time
and are now mine to hold and love and guide me. You, Dogma, took me to the brink of death. And God, not you, brought me back to
fullness of life, and my path is now immersed daily in learning to live in
peace and harmony with the Creator.
The years the locusts have eaten will be restored.
The harm you have done to me began in the earliest years of
my recollection. As a young child
I learned that your principles were to be applied selectively. It seems, as I reflect on this topic,
that the principle of Honesty and its value is a central theme in how you hurt
me. Honesty, based in the 10
Commandments, only counted if it pleased others. So, as a little boy, I felt so ashamed that I didn’t like
baseball, didn’t like getting dirty, liked lovely things, wanted hugs and
kisses much more that tossing a ball—I kept these things to myself. In essence, I lived a lie about these
things. I never spoke of these
needs or desires. In fact, I tired
to like those things that really disturbed me or caused me embarrassment. I even participated in them to please
others. You harmed me, Dogma, in
this respect. You said to be
honest. Because it was in the
Bible, I believed it was a Universal Truth and I couldn’t be accepted by God if
I didn’t obey his truths. But you,
Dogma, and those who taught me about you bastardized this truth. That which truly was God revealed did
not matter when it came to living my own authenticity as a little boy. That angers me. It angers me that I went behind the
garage to enjoy and touch living things, I made sure I wasn’t seen when I
walked slowly along Mom’s garden and smelled the peonies and touched their soft
pedals. When I went to my friend’s
house to play kickball, I really hoped I would have time with their dad,
Charlie, because he loved gardening and classical music. He taught me all about lilies. I learned how to plant them, how to
care for them, and came to love their beauty. I even learned how to create my own special lily by cross
pollinating two beautiful lilies, harvesting their seeds, planting them under
grow-lights in his basement until bulbs developed, and then planting the bulbs
outside and watched them become something beautiful that I had a hand in. Charlie also gave me an appreciation of
classical music. We listened to
Hyden and he bought me my first LP record—a Russian trumpeter playing Hyden’s
famous trumpet concerto. I later
learned to play that concerto on my trumpet many years later. I loved THAT part of growing up, not
kickball. But I lied and
bastardized God’s truth, because you taught me there was a higher
order—pleasing people, and being, doing, becoming who they wanted me to be.
You taught me to hide and never reveal those things that
touched me or made me intensely curious.
I was different, I knew it, and no one else could ever know that because
it would displease them. In your
hierarchy of what was right, pleasing others was of much greater importance
than revealing mySELF. It held a higher place in the order of
things than authenticity. Why,
Dogma, did you do that to me? This
schism between what God wanted and you wanted planted the seeds of my
insecurities, my hiding, my distrust of people, and what began with a dislike
of myself and became self-loathing later.
Dogma, I know that I will always know you, but you will no
longer have a stronghold on me. I
now know who you are, and you are not my friend. Make no mistake.
You have not stolen my faith in God nor the importance of spirituality
in my life daily. It is stronger
than ever. I’m not even opposed to
organized religion— I have actually found it in a couple of churches that don’t
teach your nonsense and harmful lies.
THAT I can buy.
So, Dogma, I’m moving on from my anger at you. I will love those affected by you and
those whom have found their way past you.
And those who are still in your grasp are those for whom I will pray and
reach out to. Because all you are
not and all that God is is what has brought me to a place of peace, joy, and
love—yes, even love for myself.
Beware, Dogma.
You WILL lose the battle.
I’m watching you lose your grasp all around me each day. My like-minded comrades are joining
arms and circling you. You don’t
stand a chance…
Most sincerely and filled with Love, Compassion, and Hope,
Ken
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